How do you define love?

Some say it's mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, imaginary, thought-provoking, inspirational, intuitional, joyous, immeasurable, ecstasy, and undefinable. Perhaps.

One other definition by a Western World laurette : "Love is a feeling directed at someone which acknowledges their goodness."

Some say: "The willful intent to serve the well being of another."

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - 1 Corinthians 13:5-7

One of the favorites is by "Paramahansa Yogananda": "To describe love is very difficult, for the same reason that words cannot fully describe the flavor of an orange. You have to taste the fruit to know its flavor. So with love."

Love itself is a universal experience. Yet, every individual occurrence - while perhaps bound by a common thread - seems absolutely unique. Love is what love is! To everyone it expresses itself differently.

All you need is Love! - The Beatles

Love is the answer to "all" questions!

It is important to stand in Love, not fall into it.

Love is waking up to find the object of your affection in the dream you were having asleep on your shoulder.

Could it be that Love is a story that can never be fully expressed?

Love is a bond or connection between two people that results in trust, intimacy, and an interdependence that enhances both partners.

Love is the ability and willingness to allow those you care for to be what they choose for themselves, without any insistence that they satisfy you. - Leo Buscaglia

Making Love is the highest level and the most loving way we can physically express or demonstrate our Love for our love partner. Everyone knows that the sexual experience can be the single most loving, most exciting, most powerful, most exhilarating, most renewing, most energizing, most affirming, most intimate, most uniting, most stress-relieving, most recreative physical experience of which humans are capable.

When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared they won't Love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still Love you, they Love you even more.

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

Logic says everything in this world has a cause and an effect. True Love is the only feeling which is its own cause and its own effect. It is something illogical and yet above all logic. I Love her because I Love her, and I Love her so I Love her.

Love is comforting someone in need of Love and having them know that somebody cares.

Love is looking past imperfections in your partner and seeing the beautiful person inside. True love seeks the happiness and well being of your partner. Love expresses itself in the mutual respect you demonstrate to your partner.

Guys, this one is for you! - Love is letting your partner have the TV remote for 30 days!

Love must be experienced. Its meaning is infinite and can never be totally defined.

The opposite of Love is fear. Think about it.

There is no fear in Love; but perfect love casts out fear. Says the Bible

God is love.

Love is loving someone without expecting anything in return; no judgments, no restrictions; no limitations; no expectations!

True Love is the nature of bliss.

Love is expressed when you are being someone who loves someone for who they are, not who you think they should be.

I was nauseous and tingly all over. . . I was either in Love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen

Love seeks no cause beyond itself and no fruit; it is its own fruit, its own enjoyment. I love because I love; I love in order that I may love. - St. Peters

Teach only Love for that is what you are. - A Course In Miracles

Love is a decision.

If you want Love, you must first Love. Love begets Love. You cannot deliver from an empty wagon. You must first learn to Love yourself before you can give Love.

"If you Loved me, you would. . ." Not! Love is not manipulative. It must never be used to get others to do what you want. When you Love someone you never ask them to sacrifice a part of themselves in the name of Love. This form of manipulation contaminates our Love for another.

Can't Buy Me Love! - The Beatles

Love is to like with a great intensity.

True love has a foundation of integrity, respect, faith and trust. Love is the force that brings about unity and harmony.

Although love is at the root of our basic nature, Love for another human being must be cultivated. It takes time for Love to mature.

Is your love free and unconditional, or is it mixed with various needs, conditions and demands from your partner?

The road to self-discovery is paved with Love.

Love has no meaning other than the meaning "we" give it.

Perhaps. . . Love just Is. While in its allness and in its nothingness, all we need to do is simply let it Be.

[Source: Swati Pitre]

How Do You Work On Yourself?

Often therapists, radio talk show hosts and others who provide relationship advice or coaching will tell you that in order to have a great relationship with your partner, you must first work on you.

While this is very good advice, something is missing. How do you do that?

You begin by really paying attention to what YOU need to be fulfilled as an individual. Focus on YOU! Think about how you are being when you are with yourself. Self inquire!

Here are a few questions to ask yourself. . .

1. Are you happy?
2. Sad?
3. Disappointed in where you are in the relationship you have with yourself?
4. Angry?
5. Resentful?
6. Loving some or most of the time but not all of the time?
7. Do you like you?
8. When you are alone do you feel lonely?
9. Are you always blaming others for what happens to you?
10. Do you know that something is missing in your life and you are not quite sure what it is?
11. Are you always looking back?
12. Do you know what it feels like to live in the present; to really be present to what is going on?
13. Have you lost sight of what you really would like to have in the area of relationships?
14. Do you know specifically what YOU need from a relationship?
15. Have you really ever thought seriously about that?
16. Are you feeling sorry for yourself?
17. Upset because of the kind of people you attract into your life?
18. Have you reached a point where it is pointless to complain because you now know that relationships are what you make of them?
19. Do you know down deep inside that there must be something better?

These are just a few questions we can answer that will cause us to begin to understand that no matter how hopeless or great things look, they can always be better. We have a choice in how our lives turn out! Choice is our greatest power.

How do you work on YOU?

You begin to get totally honest with yourself. You begin holding yourself accountable for who you are in the matter; how YOU feel about the way things are. Then. . . if you decide (and only when you decide) to do something different, you promise yourself (and keep your promise) that you will do everything within your power to be happy instead of right! In other words, discontinue justifying what doesn't work and begin to do something different.

You read good books about relationships that stimulate your thinking; that inspire you to a better way of living. You attend seminars and workshops, not just about relationships, but those that stimulate you to change the way you have been. Become involved in a support group; one that supports you in being a better you.

You begin to journal; really getting honest with how you feel about things, what you think about things, how things "really are" instead of how you "think" things are, etc. Write it all down. Be honest with yourself! Read: For Your Eyes Only. Spend a lot of time thinking about what's happening right now, instead of dwelling on the past. Being concerned about something that has already happened and that you cannot change, keeps you stuck right where you are! You work on YOU!

What are the benefits of working on YOU?

The reward for working on you is - you feel good about who you are! You really love you! Not the self-centered love that distracts you from being loving to others, but a genuine love of self; the kind of love you can share with others.

Loving you for who you are causes you to begin to feel like a whole person. At that time you may be ready for another relationship. Unless you wait for this magic moment, you may always continue to be disapointed with the relationships that show up in your life. Remember, like attracts like. Opposites do not attract. That is a myth!

If you cannot handle the most important relationship in your life - the one you have with yourself - then you will never be able to truly relate to the ambience of the coming together of two people. We spent so much of our time being concerned about the relationship we are in with someone else, that we forget about ourselves. This could be called "losing yourself in the relationship."

Many people agree that working on you takes discipline, determination and doing something different; changing your behavior! That is the key. The relationship we have with ourselves and the relationships we have with others are hard work. This, we know is true: We must work on them all the time, not only when they are broken and need to be fixed, however, they must never be a struggle.

Relationships become a struggle when someone is not pulling their fair share of the load. It's hard to feel good about yourself, when you know you are letting your love partner down by not giving yourself full attention. It's difficult if not impossible to pay attention to the overall relationship unless you know how to focus attention on yourself FIRST.

Two broken people can't fix each other. You only have the choice to fix yourself! AND to begin, you have to acknowledge the problem. Broken people seem to attract each other because they can relate to, "Something is missing in this relationship!" The opposite is also true!

So. . . we must never stray from the path of self-discovery! We must always know where we stand with ourselves. The only way you can do this is to be attentive to, and intentional about having the best relationship with yourself that is humanly possible. This means you must always work on YOU first. When you are ready. . . a relationship with someone else will be there; you will find each other.

Can you imagine? Two, whole, healthy people. . . together. Each feeling good about themselves; loving themselves and sharing that love with each other.

Can you imagine? BOTH love partners working on the relationship they have with each other and supporting each other in their own personal growth!

If you believe it, really believe it, and make sure you are always doing the best you can to cause it to be this way. . . anything is possible. There is no other like you. This is it! Don't waste time!

Never stop working on YOU.

[Source: P. Ray]

Shadows of the past are our out-dated precepts and ideas that serve no one. They are our preconceived notions about how we think things should be, should turn out or how things are. They cast their dreary shadow between ourselves and all that is good.

We must steadily move closer to the realization that our outer-circumstances are not something to be resolved but rather look upon them as inner-conditions to be acknowledged and understood. We can never see the fullness of the Light while standing in the shadows.

The shadows of the past disappear only when the lights come on! The self- illumination that occurs when connecting with our true inner-Self liberates us or disconnects us from the fear that keeps us in the shadows; it flips the switch that turns on the lights! The promise of self-discovery is liberation. It always delivers on its promise. It liberates.

Enlightenment comes only when you seek it. Ask yourself, "Do I want to be happy or right?" Ponder on that for a moment. Holding on is being right. It defends your old position which isn't working. Letting go brings peace, contentment and true happiness. The answer is truly within the question. Explore this notion further on your own quiet journey within.

With this Higher Awareness you can begin to engage in activity that shatters the barriers of self-limitation; moving forward with dignity; with confidence; with vigor; and with zest for living life to its fullest in the present.

The past is an energy drain. It saps your strength. Let go. Experience the joy of release.

“Let go and let God” is more than just something nice to say. It works! This self-liberating insight alone can free you from being a slave to your past. It’s a transformational switch-flipper!

Contrary to popular belief, history does not have to repeat itself. It is our choice. When we put new, self-liberating insight into practice we become a powerful force in beckoning the Light that will free us from the shadows of the past.

Shadows only disappear when, through self-discovery, we have the courage to allow the inner-Self to lighten the path. This release of our old self; the letting go of “being right” to allow for enlightenment is an empowering notion and when accepted and nurtured, instantly begins to lighten the burden we feel we are carrying. There is always a higher solution available for every concern if we but seek it. It has never been necessary to carry burden to attain spiritually sound, self-liberating insight. Let go.

Encourage self-enlightenment or self-discovery for yourself and others. It is the only way to begin again; to get a fresh start. It is important to know that on our spiritual quest we will always be starting over and over and over.

On occasion, we stumble. Have no concern of this. To stay on the path without becoming overwhelmed with discouragement we must take no intended intermission. Simply, without hesitation, begin again. There is no shame in starting over.

Higher understanding is an unremitting quest worthy of pursuit. Letting go is the only acceptable path to Truth.

The hurt you carry with you today reflects a need for higher spiritual enlightenment. Suffering is only a symptom of spiritual short-sightedness!

There is always some higher notion; something beyond the limits of our present perceptions; some Truthful insight that we have yet to discover. We must learn to press forward and be willing to lift our eyes to connect with our higher Self. In short, we must forever be engaged in a quest for higher spiritual understanding. This is letting go. Step out of the shadows into the Light. Seeking the Truth about who you are and what you can become is letting go.

Release always follows revelation. When we let go of our own preconceived ideas about what works, and are willing to be receptive to new and higher ideas, this new inquiry always invites new insight. Spiritual awareness has no opposite. It just is. It is the Truth. And the Truth will set you free!

Letting go does not mean giving up. Letting go does not mean giving up! Letting go is granting yourself permission to dedicate the situation wholly to Truth, to turn it over to a Higher Power and allow the Truth of new ideas to guide you. Letting go is looking for, listening for and consistently being in search of a higher and better path to inner-peace. It means bringing the Truth to the front; putting the Truth first!

In effect, letting go is a form of forgiveness. It releases the circumstance and creates an opening for higher awareness. It makes peace of mind a preference and therefore, inevitable.

Truth or a higher spiritual awareness comes from God, a Higher Power, Infinite Intelligence, the Master Mind or whatever you choose to call It. It matters not whether you believe it.

You do not have to believe in Truth for it to be so. It just is. Truth is Truth no matter who believes it. Use it. It is there for all who will access It. And for Truth to effectively work in your life, you must learn to make application of it in a consistent, never-ending manner. Truth is the way.

As you begin your spiritual quest, for only several moments at a time, quiet your mind, let go of your ideas and listen for new ones. Commit to devote additional quiet moments each time you begin your silent journey. The more you listen, the more receptive you will be for your higher education.

Only listen. Be still and know that you will hear only what you are willing to listen for. And you will understand only that which you are ready to accept. The only way to invite higher insight is to be receptive to it. You trigger transformation by taking the time necessary to put into practice the information the Truth presents.

On your silent journey, when you begin to hear the voices of the past, and you most assuredly will, quiet your mind, and begin again to listen anew. It really is okay to start over and over and over. Inspirational insight comes to us only when we let go of our thoughts long enough to attend to higher instruction. Deepak Chopra expressed it this way. "The Cosmic Psyche whispers to us softly in the gap between our thoughts."

This higher awareness speaks from the heart, not the intellect. It feels. You will know the Truth when it presents itself. How will you know? Never fear. You will know. And you will understand. Within Truth is understanding.

To eliminate the shadows of the past, it is important to stand firm in your commitment to only listen for higher insight.

Pursue the quest for self-discovery and watch the shadows of fear, doubt, worry and all of the other self-created conditions you disdain disappear.

[Source: Swati Pitre]

My Partner Cheat? Never!
29 Red Flags That May Suggest a Cheater

Here are a few things that often point a finger to a cheater. While it is true that some of the following red flags may be sure-fire indicators, I've used the words "may suggest a cheater" because it may be wise to give your partner the benefit of the doubt when suspicions arise.

To accuse without evidence could cause the flame of your relationship - however much there is - to go out. If your partner is not cheating, then confrontation will most likely cause a major trust issue. It may be wise to consult a therapist or relationship coach with your suspicions before doing anything that could further damage the relationship.

What is cheating? Having sex with someone other than your marriage partner is the distinguishing factor that makes an affair a betrayal. That's cheating. Furthermore "any" situation that has you in a compromising position with someone other than your own partner. For example, going out with someone "without sex," sexy chats online with the opposite sex, or downloading porn, when you are supposedly in a committed relationship in my opinion is also considered cheating.

A broad rule of thumb is anything that you are doing with someone with the opposite sex that you would not want your partner to know. It's a matter of integrity and trust.

A betrayal of the heart is devastating. The secrecy of an affair makes honesty impossible. An affair is often only the tip of the iceberg. There are many problems below the surface that you must be committed to work on together. It's a complex and painful situation to be in.

Who cheats?
People who lack integrity often cheat. People with low self-esteem often cheat. Some people are predisposed to cheat. The most common reason is that they are not getting their needs met by their partner. When you are getting your needs met in your relationship, most people agree that you are seldom tempted to look elsewhere.

What are these needs?
Obviously there are many needs that we all have. Participants in my "Relationship Enrichment LoveShops" consistently suggest that the three most primary needs for a woman are affection, understanding and, most of all, respect. A man's three most basic needs are appreciation, acceptance and trust. Love is a given. There are many others, AND when needs do not get fulfilled, some people look for someone else who can fulfill their needs.

Often people who are separated from their spouse will begin to see others before the divorce is final and attempt to justify their actions by saying that the relationship has been over for years. There is never a good reason to cheat while you are still in a marriage.

Beware of snooping! Looking at your partner's credit card or telephone bill for excess charges or checking their e-mail for tale-tale signs is a no-no. Nosy people can usually find something to justify their suspicions, however prying excessively is a destructive action that should be curtailed.

Before you snoop. . . STOP! Take a look at why you are "really" snooping. Could it be that your own insecurities might be the cause of your suspicions? Think about it.

Jealousy is only and always a demonstration of our own insecurities and low self-esteem. People who are jealous may also have a problem with trusting because of past experiences. This is something only they can work on. You can only offer them love and support and encourage them to work on their self-esteem.

Jealousy also comes from fear; fear of losing the one you love. This is mostly caused from anxiety: a concern about what "might" happen.

Insecurities bring forth jealousy, which, in effect, is a cry for more love. It is within our rights to ask for more affection when self-doubts surface, however, the indirect way that jealousy asks for it is counterproductive. Excessive possessiveness is inappropriate. Jealousy is the surest way to drive away the very person we may fear losing.

If your partner's behavior in one of the following areas hoists a red flag, remember, it may not necessarily be cause for alarm. Weigh your words. Think before you accuse. Proceed with caution.

1. When they no longer wants sex or makes excuses.
2. When they will not allow you access to their computer or they suddenly shut down the computer when you walk into the room. They may password protect their laptop or computer to keep out suspicious eyes. Or they stay up to "work" on the computer after you go to bed. Excessive internet usage, especially late at night, is a red flag.
3. When they begin to put distance between you or show a lack of interest in what has been the routine with few, if any, excuses.
4. When they suddenly have to work late and have all kinds of new obligations that take them away from home repeatedly or for long periods of time. Or. . . they tell you they are working longer hours and discontinue allowing you to view their paycheck or paystubs.
5. When they get mysterious phone calls or when they hurry to answer the phone, leave the room to talk on the phone and when you ask who called, they say, "No one," or "Wrong number."
6. When they suddenly need a cell phone or pager and you are discouraged from ever looking at it or using it. They also may make certain their cellphone or pager cannot be answered by you by hiding it or taking it with them wherever they go. They are secretive about their cellphone or pager bill and pay it themselves when you have always paid the bill in the past.
7. When they arrive home smelling faintly of perfume/cologne or another person's body.
8. When they arrive home and head straight into the shower or bath.
9. When they have lipstick or strange hairs on their clothing or in the car. Finding strange phone numbers, receipts or condoms can also be clues.
10. When they suddenly begins to treat you extremely nice; more so than usual.
11. When they begin to make "kinky" requests or suggest wildly erotic play during sex including things you have never done before. They may also show an increased interest in sex or sexual things, including porn.
12. When they talk to you they treat you abusively or with disdain, disrespect or excess sarcasm. They may also demonstrate an unexplained aloofness or indifference in the relationship. Or. . . they may begin to find fault in everything you do in an attempt to justify the affair.
13. Her: When she gets spiffied up and dresses provocative to "go grocery shopping" or to "get her hair done." She may also show up with a sudden change of hair style.
    Him: When he showers, shaves (cologne, deodorant, etc.) and dresses up more than usual to "go out with his buddies" or to "go fishing."
14. When they break their established routine at work and home for no apparent or logical reason.
15. When they become suddenly forgetful and you have to tell him/her everything several times; their thoughts are elsewhere.
16. When they are always tired or demonstrate a noticeable lack of energy or interest in the relationship.
17. When they begin to intentionally look at or flirt with the opposite sex when in the past, this is something they would not have done.
18. When you notice that they reluctant to kiss you or accept your affection.
19. When they ignore or criticize your affections and thoughtful ways.
20. When your phone bill shows an increase in unexplained toll or long distance charges. Often when a partner is acting too close or flirting with a best friend of the opposite sex, you will find their phone number listed excessively.
21. When the passenger seat in the car has been changed and is not in the usual position or the mileage on the car is more than usual. Also increased gas purchases that are inconsistent with the amount of miles on the car.
22. When they begin to keep a change of clothes hidden in the trunk of the car or an unusual amount of clothes changes at the gym.
23. When you notice credit card charges for gifts (such as florist or jewelry) that you didn't receive.
24. When they begin to make sudden and excessive purchases of clothes or an unexplained change in clothing style. Begining to purchase sexy underwear or lingerie may be a clue.
25. When you notice an increase in ATM withdrawals. Cheating costs money! To play you must pay!
26. When you notice that your partner loses their ability and desire to show the children the attention they need or a lack of desire to do any fix-ups around the house, e.g., lawn care, painting, cleaning the garage, house repairs, etc.
27. When you notice an increased attention to losing weight or paying more attention to their appearance.
28. When they begin to volunteer to go to the post office, rushes to check the mail before you do or opens up a new P.O. box.
29. When your partner shows up without their wedding ring or suddenly stops wearing it and makes lame excuses as to why.

[Source: P. Ray]

Ever since I read this poem, I have been in love with it. It took a little while for me to understand the meaning of it. It inspires me to think about various romancing ideas that we can create, if we really are able to see heaven-like flowers with great fragrance, inside a tiny little wild flower growing on the side of a hill-walk. If we are really able to stretch our imagination, enhance our romancing quotient and see beyond a simple grain of sand, a whole new world all together. In a way we can really imagine more, romance better and live fuller. Isn't that a key to our relationships with all and everything around?

These days we see so many knowledge-banks that provide "tips" for romancing, various techniques for calculating the rating of a person as far as romancing goes, on the scale of 1 to 10. There are so many romantic holiday packages, things to do on such vacations, cruise, flowers, candle light dinner and what not. Of course when it comes to love relationships, one does get compelled to seek the options available and be the perfect while being on the same. At times I feel though, despite the validity of such variety of explorations, isn't "romancing with" within us? Doesn't all such written material take the fun out of the whole thing? Doesn't it make a person anticipate and predict more and reduce the quality of fun involved by leaving it unprepared, raw and unpredictable? Doesn't it add stress to the very idea of romancing itself? And of course doesn't it limit the idea of romancing only to love relationships? And doesn't it limit our dreams, our aspirations for life?

I remember once upon a time, my husband had me a letter in which he explained to me, his idea of spring my life and also asserted that I should wait for many such springs to adore my life. Even now, even the imagination of this whole idea adds happiness to my life. I romance with the idea itself and then even if there is romantic vacation on the plan, I see the spring turning up, I imagine the spring-colors and romance is automatically created. If a single sentence of spring can create so much of romance, I feel everyone around must never underestimate power of words, power of ideas and power of imagination and one should indeed romance with them.

Let us talk about conventional and non-conventional meaning of romance. As I became more curious over this whole topic, I found more interesting facts on the same. What induces romantic ideas as far as relationships are concerned? Probably a wonderful moonlight walk? Is that the whole range of suitable gifts? Is that pleasant surprises? Are they gardens? Is that enjoyable drive? Is that the tuning music? Is that some new adventure together? Of course it's all of them, with the person whom you are romancing with around. Then why does it happen that as the relationship progresses one may feel running out of enough romantic ideas? Probably the reason is life situations take stronger and more demanding place and romance may fall aside. It's at this time, apart from the romance within the relationship which is asking for more and having less, one needs to reflect on its romancing quotient with various other aspects of life that also require "romancing with" and as a result of those, one can indeed feed in some romance into the conventional romance- which is the one residing in the relationships. After all, who doesn't want to be high on romance at every stage of life, age of life, irrespective of gender, surroundings and situations??

OK, so probably at this juncture we can turn towards some unconventional aspects of it. Unconventionally speaking, I see that even an infant starts its romancing with the world around. As the time passes, it sees the world around with a completely fresh mind, starts relating to its parents and people around, things around and it can turn around anything that is seen into anything that it wants; only based on one power- imagination. A room can turn into a park; a chair can turn into a car, a box and turn into any possible animal. In that context, I remember very well how my friend's two year old son used to romance with a lady named cooker. His sole fascination was cooking. He used to always want a dumb looking cooker that, for his imagination, would cook anything that he likes. Anything for that matter, like stones, socks etc. Toys around that were meant for him, used to envy his ongoing romance, for they were getting no attention. His had his own mobile kitchen, so that he gets to carry his romance at places. Isn't that indeed true romancing with? It's true because it enables imagination. It enables power to turn around anything and everything. It doesn't cease the fun in life. I also remember that I couldn't see it then because I didn't have his eyes. I saw the pressure cooker as just a dumb cooker that only knows to whistle. I saw the stones lying around as only things, socks as only socks, and not as something that could be "cooked", which is romance!!!

This is just one illustration. There are indeed so many unconventional ideas that can indeed amuse us. And if we welcome at least some of these ones, I think there is more enriching romancing that are going to await us.

[Source: Swati Pitre]

Life isn’t easy for most of us and few lucky ones byte the sweet taste of it. For them relationships are like a warm pullover. Wear them to enjoy autumns and springs a bunch. For the rest, they are more or less a savior yacht to protract a rollercoaster. Probably that’s where the ship gets along with the relations.

You must have seen plenty of them – roaring, soaring, clinching and even pinching at times –meaningful and yet completely meaningless; preaching every moment to live with them. You adore them for reasons and of a sudden nauseate for counterfeit. What remains then is a respite full of vacuity. Call it a past but it never passes even a bit till you stop being self.

Why do we pursue them so hard when we know we can never live with them everlastingly? Like every other thing around that begins has an end – why don’t the relationships just be at once and depart forever? They are like a rainbow – when exists, fills your heart and vista and after defuses – bequeath a famine of memories.

As I said – it takes years to build one, ages to pursue but less than a jiffy to break. Has it end there – life would have been so simple. Its mere magical utterance makes you a human and tells you apart from rest of mortals. Like a boat that carries you in the sea around. If it sustains – you are a sailor and if does not – you are left in middle to fight the tsunamis.

This being true, devoid of a bond, life will not be as restless and vivid. Color, that make you see everything with a meaning than a substance, with many a shades brushing in one another making it even charming. What makes you deem about the past, and fantasize the future has an answer here. Relations last but relationships subsist ceaselessly until life hopes, hops and hypes.

[Source: Ganesh Pitre]

So what makes it? What keeps relationships going? What works towards making it a success and what works against it?

• Accepting the person as he or she is. Without asking for too many changes and alterations, taking him/her as he is, into your life, eases out the whole relation.
• Strive towards brining out the best self in the other person.
• Providing the other person space he or she needs, while the partners grow in the relation.
• One talks- other listens. Hey, but no that only one person should be the listener, isn't? Both take turns.
• Derive enjoyment by spending time on the things that both like to do the most. There would always be differences in some aspects; these could be enjoyed in individual spare time.
• We all want to be understood. However one needs to start by understanding himself/herself first before expecting to be understood.
• Managed expectations. Always check yourself whether your expectations are within other person's genuine capacities. Sky high expectations would eventually make the other person feel uncared and force him or her to ask for out.
• Content of humor and surprises in the relationship. The more the laughter the better. One of my friends as she was to get married received a very valuable advice from another older friend of hers- Don't forget humor. Many of the serious looking situations can be lightened if both or at least one of the partners has humor-side open enough.
• Simplicity. A simple, down-to-earth and honest relationship would always lead to lasting happiness.

The list could be endless. But still why do we see so many breaking relationships, divorces, dragging relationships? Especially in our times when we have so many luxuries, so much independence, so many luxuries, so many great educational and career opportunities. Or is it that exactly these are the factors that have added instability to the foundation of marriage itself? Or is it that men are feeling somewhat insecure because their traditional deep-rooted roles are at risk? And also is it not true that women are also required to handle the positive changes that have come to them, in more tactful manner as far as inter-personal relationships are concerned? Or is it that the "NRI marrying the family-girl in a weeks time and takes her back" syndrome becoming more of the need of time, despite knowing the fact that it can also be disastrous? There is more openness towards adapting to American culture of living-in. However this may not always be suited with an Indian upbringing. No doubt that this gives both prospective partners a chance to evaluate each or other by living under the same roof, but at the cost of lack of commitment. There might be a point of no return and that too leading to nowhere. All of these factors matter to some greater or smaller extent, depending upon situation and people involved.

As I try and ponder more over this, I only feel that it takes always two for success.

[Source: Swati Pitre]

I became aware that Dad was someone special only after I had started school. At PTA meetings, he'd be surrounded by other parents keen on getting an autograph. My teachers, who had a huge crush on him - he was a heart-throb of their generation - were thrilled to be teaching the Prakash Padukone's daughter! But gushing teachers apart, we were like any other family. In fact, Dad disliked any kind of fuss being made over him. At school concerts, he and Mum would sneak into the auditorium, find seats in the last row, watch me perform and disappear before a photographer found them! For the kind of success he's had, Dad is incredibly down-to-earth and modest. When I was born, my parents were living in Denmark and Dad was world Number One. Then, at the height of his career, he decided to set up the Training Academy at Bangalore, which has produced a new generation of international-level players. I got drawn to the sport because of Dad and played a reasonable game, but never came close to being brilliant. There was a lot of pressure on me. First, it was 'Will she take up badminton like her Dad?' Then it was 'Is she going to be as good as her Dad?' I'd get up at four in the morning and go for training, then go to school and spend evenings practising at the courts. The toned look that you see on the ramp today is thanks to my athletic past. I managed to get to state-level tournaments, but it was clear I wasn't going to be a big-time champion. So telling Dad that my heart was in modelling was not hard at all. I had been receiving offers for a long time and a school friend's mum, who is a model coordinator, came over one day and convinced my parents it was a good idea. He didn't bat an eyelid. He feels it's important to do something that excites and interests you, so that you do it well and excel. But for all his humility and endless patience, he's a disciplinarian - and no one knows that better than me. I was a brat! The crimes were varied - jumping on a sofa, answering him back, breaking things, rudeness... you name it! As a teen, the battle grounds changed over to deadlines (curfew no later than 7pm for outings with friends), partying (no way beyond 10pm, even if the party hadn't yet begun) and dating (never!). I rebelled, fought, cajoled, threw tantrums. But some things were not acceptable, and that was that. Even today, if I go to a party, Dad drops me and picks me up. Most of my friends at 13 and 14 had "steady boyfriends" and, despite intense peer pressure, I couldn't defy the no-dating-yet policy. At 16, I decided that I was definitely "in love"; but Dad sat me down and told me all that they knew about the guy and why he was not right for me. Now I'm much more confident of judging people, and if I was seeing someone, I would have absolutely no hesitation in taking him home to meet my parents. Today, I'm grateful for the rules - becoming a part of the glamour industry can be overwhelming if you're not grounded. The discipline inculcated in me since childhood helped a lot. When it comes to the money I earn, it's Dad who invests everything for me. I get a reasonable sum as pocket money every month, and it takes care of my phone bill, make-up buys and other tidbits. I'm actually emotionally closer to him now, although we see less of each other. For the Close-Up ad, one of my first TV commercials, Dad travelled to Mumbai with me and spent a day at Famous Studio, where it was being shot. On the flight back home the following day, I could see that he was kind of quiet and reflective. I think we both sensed things would be different now. As my career took off, for the first few months either he or Mum travelled with me on outstation assignments; but this was very disruptive as they're both extremely busy. It was Dad who insisted we get a professional agency to manage my work. But I never sign up a campaign till it's been discussed threadbare at home. If he happens to accompany me to an event, he's very particular about staying out of range of flashbulbs. At a recent event, I was given the Young Achiever Award for glamour and Dad was on the jury for the Sports Achiever category. When I went up on stage and returned with the award, photographers rushed to click us together. But Dad said a firm 'No'. He felt it was my moment of glory and did not want the spotlight to shift from me. On each of our birthdays and my parents' anniversary, we make it a point to be together. This year, for the first time, I won't be home on Dad's birthday as I'm booked to do a show. Knowing him, he will understand.

[Source: India Today]

When we talk about science- it has got definite laws of truth. There are various methods, disciplines, rules. There is repeatability of experiments and proven results (provided conditions like environmental factors or other circumstances remain same, varies case to case). There are formulae and there are possibilities to measure the results of experiments and improvise over them.

Just the ways we feel hungry, thirsty, need to take breathe without which we would die. Sex is also a need however one doesn't die without it. As one grows and becomes aware of its own needs in this matter, one tries to find our more about this need and how it can be catered. What are the best possible ways and what are do's and don'ts. There is ample material available everywhere, for those who want to know the sciences.

Ask any artist or a performer- ask any great singers, painters or pianists or writers. Art would mean creativity, freedom to express his or her own self and not get limited by any means. Many of the artists would relate their best performances with something very abstract- God like, a spiritual journey. They may not be able to figure out why particular piece of art was so magnificent whereas some other creation went wrong despite best circumstances, best accompaniments etc. Performance in sex is not repetitive over time. Also, be it any form of art- singing, playing an instrument, painting, dancing, acting…no one can measure neither the performance nor the pleasure through some parameters. The quality or even the price of creation is really difficult to measure. The creators would have put their heart and soul in it and that is the only "measure". In my opinion that is the real "cost of heart".

Sex- even though it's a mix of science and art, greatly it's an art- A Mind over matter, game of mind. Yes, it is science because it has methods, repeatability, but that very thing may become a boring fact of science. It would reduce the joy, build dullness and monotony in the process. The boredom with aging can only be imagined in such case.

The moment there is imaginative mind over matter; openness towards art aspect of it, creative facet of it, there could be more delight. As the goal or result driven approach towards sex diminishes, there is more chance to joyfulness. Hence enjoy the art of…

[Source: Swati Pitre]